Thankful Thursdays

Recognizing the blessings I have in my life makes me focus on the positive things I have going on... and that keeps me walking on "The Happy Side".

[1] First, I must give credit where credit is due: I picked up 'Thankful Thursdays' from my blogging friend, Heidi, who picked it up from her friend and so on and so on. I'm thankful that Heidi introduced me to Thankful Thursdays so I can purposefully remember the things I'm thankful for!

[2] I'm thankful that my family and I have health insurance and that my father has medicare so that we were all able to get our flu shots this year. With young, school-age children, the shot is pretty critical in avoiding the otherwise inevitable week+ in bed feeling miserable this flu season. And, for my elderly Dad, this shot can be a real life-saver... literally!

[3] I'm thankful for the beautiful pets I have -- all rescues -- and for the people who make it possible to adopt such wonderful animals. As I go through the process of [maybe] looking for another dog-in-need that might fit happily into our family, I'm saddened at the number of homeless pets there are. But, I'm massively impressed with the quality people who choose to dedicate their lives to help carefully re-home these desperate and deserving animals.

[4] I'm thankful that I have a good relationship with my daughter. When something bothers her, she never fails to discuss it openly with me so that we can come up with some ideas together to help resolve her issue. I'm sad that she occasionally encounters problems but I'm happy that she's learning to communicate and talk things out... and that she trusts me.

[5] I'm thankful for my half-finished mess of a 200-year-old, bayman's cottage with all it's inherent problems. I know I'm lucky to have a roof over my head while so many others are having trouble keeping theirs.

In honor of Thankful Thursdays, take a moment to think about the things that make you feel thankful today!

ANGELS AMONGST US

Last Saturday morning I packed the kids into the mini-van for our bi-annual trek to one of our local colleges... to speak on behalf of people with Down syndrome. We do this at 4 local colleges in various areas of education -- Speech/Language, Psychology/Psychology for Exceptional Children and Education/Special Education -- for 2 primary reasons: [1] to allow students who aspire to work with children with special needs to meet face-to-face my extraordinary boys, Brian & Michael, who happen to have Down syndrome, so that they may put a human face on what is more-than-likely an out-dated, text-book impression of this diagnosis; AND [2] Our more self-serving goal... to help clear a peaceful life-path for Brian & Michael. The more people that meet them and come to understand and experience, first-hand, the breadth of possibilities for people with Down syndrome, the greater their acceptance and opportunities will be in life. (Pic: Ellen and Olivia on the last day of summer)

That said, on what we hoped would be an informative expedition for others, we were exposed, ourselves, to a few Angels Living Amongst Us:

I was impatiently waiting at a traffic light, already late for our speaking engagement and anxiously awaiting my green signal. As the light turned, I was, I admit, a bit disheartened to see that I'd be further detained by a feeble, old man hobbling across the street on his cane -- against the light! I waited with new-found patience, concerned for his safe crossing, as cars swerved around him. He navigated a straight path, oblivious to the cars around him. He reminded me of a scene from Toy Story 2, where Buzz Lightyear and his friends were on their way to rescue Woody. They crossed the highway, blind beneath their construction cones, with trucks and cement tubes rolling perilously close but, luckily missing. I was suddenly brought back to reality when a passerby ran across 3 lanes of moving cars, yelling and waving his arms wildly, bringing traffic to a screeching halt... Much to the chagrin of those who were attempting to drive around the old man, impatient to be on their way. I nodded my appreciation and the gentleman-turned-traffic-cop-turned-Angel told me that the old man was blind. Though this stranger's faith in mankind might have been diminished that day, mine had been restored as he intervened on the old man's behalf. No doubt, an ANGEL AMONGST US!

And, of course, it is only right to recognize the significant and angelic role Ellen, our EI therapist/college professor, plays in creating a peaceful life-path for my sons. Ellen is the one who jump-started my college speaking career. By consistently inviting us back to Nassau Community College to speak on behalf of people with Down syndrome she continuously validates my need to proactively educate people about the human side of the diagnosis. And, in her own rite, she is certainly doing her share to make a difference in the world for people like Brian & Michael. Not only does she help me to spread the word, but she spreads the word herself, working as a family social worker in the Early Intervention program as well as teaching Psychology for Exceptional Children classes where she consistently ensures that her students remain open-minded about what's possible for people with Down syndrome today and in the future. She also brings her more-than-willing husband/college professor into the halo-light by giving him the opportunity to have us speak with his students as well. The more people we touch and teach, the better! And, they make a wonderful team of angels! My deepest appreciation and my children's heart-felt thanks go out to both of these angels...(http://commtechlab.msu.edu/Sites/aslweb/browser.htm)

Knowing there are caring and proactive people who take the time to do the right thing for others in this fast-paced and frequently selfish world is a breath of fresh and heavenly air for me. There are angels all around us, if we only pay attention. Thanks to the powers that be -- God, for me -- for helping me to recognize these people for what they are... Angels Amongst Us!

I [Heart] Your Blog! Q&A

I was given this "I [heart] your Blog" award by my friend, former KC-er and fellow blogger, Sara. The idea is to answer some personal questions much like those Q&As that go around via email. I LOVE those things! I love finding out little tidbits of information about my friends... It makes me happy! This being a happiness project, it's appropriate for me to keep the fire burning.


So, I thought, sharing this information about me might help make someone else happy. If you want to help propagate my happiness, please feel free to comment with your answers or copy & paste your Q&As into an email and send it to me. Sure to make me smile! The challenge to this one? 1-word responses ONLY!



Here goes:


1. Where is your cell phone? Waistband.
2. Where is your significant other? Work
3. Your hair color? Brown
4. Your mother? Sunshine
5. Your father? Debater
6. Your favorite thing? Nature
7. Your dream last night? Olivia
8. Your dream/goal? Happiness
9. The room you're in? Playroom
10. Your hobby? SCUBA
11. Your fear? Death
12. Where do you want to be in six years? Working
13. Where were you last night? Home
14. What you're not? Thin
15. One of your wish list items? Odyssey
16. Where you grew up? Oceanside
17. The last thing you did? Chocolate
18. What are you wearing? Jeans
19. Your T.V.? News
20. Your pets? Awesome
21. Your computer? Overdrive
22. Your mood? Anticipatory
23. Missing someone? Isaiah
24. Your car? Works
25. Something you're not wearing? Perfume
26. Favorite store? Target
27. Your Summer? Short
28. Love someone? Kids
29. Your favorite color? Orange
30. When is the last time you laughed? Today
31. Last time you cried? Yesterday

Having completed this, I can tell you that limiting my responses to one word does NOT make me happy. It's like being told to stop talking... not easy for me. But, I survived.


Passing the love to other bloggers I know. Only do it if you want to. I certainly wouldn't want someone pressuring me to blog on any particular topic. As I said though, personally, I like these things... (though not the one-worders!):


Sarah at: http://kozultwingirls.blogspot.com/
Heidi at: http://allredcrewnews.blogspot.com/
Janete at: http://groversandcookie.blogspot.com/
Monica at: http://dailydwelling.com/
Bonnie at: http://ringlabenkies.blogspot.com/

Pets! Pets! And, More Pets!

Losing a pet can be a devastating event. I know! We just lost one of our beloved dogs, Isaiah, to cancer in September. And, while his brief illness and quick death were heart-wrenching, I would not trade the wonderful 12+ years we had with him for the world. He was the most loving and tolerant dog ever to grace our immediate and extended families' lives by every one's account. How lucky for us, that we found him in need of a home and chose to rescue him all those years ago. Despite 4 months of harrowing training where I was heard to complain to my husband more than once, "You've ruined our lives by adopting this dog." Catching onto the training before he chewed up all of our belongings including our 500-count CD collection and the telephone wires more than once, it all turned out more than well in the end. He was a precious gem -- with a heart as big as the state of Missouri where we rescued him -- and one that could never be replaced. That said, we now find ourselves in search of another canine companion, as much for me, my husband and our children as for our remaining nearly 13-year-old chow chow who has all but lost her hearing and needs a new best friend to be her ears the way her big brother did. (Pic: Michael, Isaiah and Brian)

So... Pets! They bring me that unconditional love I so often seek but rarely find from my spouse and still find for now, thankfully, most often from my children (until they hit that stage of development where they're not so sure how much they love me... or at least how much they're willing to show they love me... especially in front of their friends). As a child, I remember occasionally seeking out my actually-quite-aggressive dog, Clyde -- I've got the scars to show for it -- for a crying session when I'd gotten into trouble or felt sad for one reason or another. I distinctly remember saying to him, "You're the only one that really loves me!" and, it made me feel better to cuddle with him. To have a non-judgemental ear to listen to me (and not answer back that I was wrong to do blah blah blah) and a warm body that wanted me and only me to huggle (hug and snuggle) up to. (Pic: Csiba, our Chow Chow)

But, it's not just dogs that fit that bill. I have spent countless hour huggling with guinea pigs, cats and dogs, stroking their fur and peacefully talking out my problems with them. I've driven miles and miles across country with the happy companionship of my cat, Miko, and/or my dogs, Isaiah and Csiba. I've even shared some deep thoughts with my peaceful aquarium fish -- Mia, Alex Rover and Patrick -- as I watch them stop cruising their tank to huddle in front when I stick my big ol' face nearby. Yes, I know they do it because I'm the one that feeds them most of the time. My point is that even my pet fish bring me happiness. (Pic: Heckscher & Rosie our angel-guinea pigs)

I've occasionally given the following advice to my friends, "You want unconditional love? Get a cat!" Well, I believe in that mantra though you can replace cat with the most convenient pet for you and get nearly the same result. My pets make me happy! So, perhaps I should change that phrase to, "You want unconditional happiness? Get a pet!" As an animal lover, it has always worked for me. (Pic: Olivia with her cats, Tippy & Willow)

I've Been Tagged -- 6 Things About Me

Oh, I'm so thrilled to have been tagged to write about 6 things you didn't know/didn't need to know about me. Being tagged has helped me to feel more like I belong here in the world of REAL bloggers. Many thanks, Kimberly. And, that leads me to my first "thing" about me:

[1] Until recently, I have often felt as though I don't belong. As though I'm on the outside looking in. Perhaps, it's a function of being the 4th of 5 children or not having a voice in childhood -- I've found it since -- to be heard above the din in our home as I was growing up. Regardless of it's origin, since getting married and having my 3 beautiful children, I have absolutely found the place in this world where I truly belong. A place where I am on the inside and others are looking in at, and choosing to become part of, the wonderful life we are living.

[2] Above almost any other activity, I LOVE LOVE LOVE to be swimming with the fishes -- SCUBA diving, that is. I love the peacefulness and unexplored beauty of the underwater world. The quiet hum of my own breathing and the slow, graceful movement of all God's sea-faring creatures... It is my Zen! I used to teach SCUBA diving and would jump in the water -- pool or ocean -- every chance I got... before work, after dinner or in the middle of the night! Whenever the tide was right. Though I have not gone SCUBA diving since having my children (sadly, it is contraindicated for pregnancy and nursing), I know that I will return to my favorite past time very soon. AND, I know that, when the time comes, my children will be my most avid SCUBA buddies as they love the water as much as I do. But, most especially, it is my daughter who eagerly awaits coming of age to be SCUBA certified and who I happily anticipate sharing this beautiful underwater world with.

[3] MY favorite color is ORANGE. Surprised? Actually, not many folks I've met choose this vibrant yet warm color as a favorite. It reminds me of a beautiful summer sunset; of Halloween, my favorite holiday; of autumn leaves; and of a warm and cozy hearth fire or camp fire... roasting marshmallows and listening to my mother's or husband's beautiful guitar strumming. It brings me peace to see it and be near it. As such, I love to wear orange and to decorate with orange (not highly recommended by HGTV, by the way). I have 3 bright orange jackets/coats. So bright that folks frequently comment that I must be a hunter. (LOL, I am SOOO NOT a hunter!). My great room is painted 2 shades of orange like a sunset. And, I have a large, orange sectional that brings out the orange accents in the area rug in that room too! And, as of yesterday, I even have an orange cell phone. YEAH! As a matter of fact, I have so much orange clothing for myself and for my children that we actually have a separate "orange/red" bin that fills up and needs laundering just as quickly as my "dark" and "white" bins do. I think the color must suit me, though, because those closest to me are never surprised when I choose orange.

[4] I believe that we humans have free will and make our own choices and that things happen by chance... and, maybe sometimes, by circumstance. I don't believe God is playing a great game of chess with us little people down here on earth and that all the moves are predetermined. Which, of course, seems like a direct contradiction to my very strong belief that I was destined to have these beautiful boys -- my identical twins who happen to have Down syndrome. That said, I do believe that God intervenes on our behalf when necessary. As such, I always feel like the song "Amazing Grace" was written about me... when God intervened and gave me these heavenly children. Almost 15 years ago, my then boyfriend (now husband and father of my children) and I were seated in an IHOP in Kansas City, Missouri with friends who were all mesmerized by a 3-year-old boy with Down syndrome at the next table. My beau stole infrequent and uncomfortable looks while everyone else went outwardly ga-ga over this handsome child. Once outside, I questioned his reaction saying that we had not been together so long that if he were uncomfortable with the possibility of having a child with Down syndrome -- as this was "always a possibility being I am 8 years his senior" -- it wasn't too late for him to go his own way. Obviously, he did not choose that path but instead chose the one with me and, happily for both of us, these incredible children. Upon the boys' DS diagnosis at birth, we both immediately hearkened back to that brief, but apparently poignant enough to remember, conversation. In hindsight, it certainly seemed a glimpse into our future. And admittedly, my husband and I both feel strongly that we were "meant" to have these boys. God's hand, I'm sure!

[5] Nature makes me happy. I'm the lady driving down the Southern State Parkway with a big grin on my face. No, I'm not having a funny conversation on my wireless phone! The smile and joyous feeling is the direct result of seeing the leaves changing colors almost right before my eyes. I LOVE nature! I like watching squirrels scurry around burying their acorns, birds sitting on the telephone wire or flying their migration formation, a hawk soaring overhead, a mouse scampering across the path, a cat basking in the sun, a happy dog walking -- tail wagging -- with his master. Heck, a flowering weed peeking through the crack in the sidewalk makes me happy. Nature is resilient. It exists despite man's best efforts to thwart it! I like that! It makes me feel like I want to help restore and grow it versus break it down. And, that makes me feel good about me too -- because I'm focused on conservation, environmental responsibility and preserving our planet for future generations.


[6] If you have children and watch Noggin, you might know the song, "I don't like candy corn!" Well, here's my 6th confession, I don't like candy corn or, for that matter, any candy at all. Please Note: this statement excludes chocolate which is not candy but a food group unto itself. Right? Given my lifelong struggle to control my weight (that 'c' word might actually be part of the problem), it's surprising even to me that I absolutely don't like candy. Cookies, cakes, bread -- and chocolate, of course -- are my poisons... But, I could be starving and never touch a single piece of available candy. For those who know me... isn't that sorta surprising?

OK, so now that you know things about me that you didn't need to know, I have to figure out how to tag a few of my blogging friends and pay it [the fun] forward. Watch for that in my next and related blog : )

In Utero Testing -- The Need to Know -- And Then What?

In utero diagnosis is an imperfect science (to quote a peri-natologist I saw during my pregnancy) and leaves so much -- not necessarily good -- to the imagination at a time when hormones are already raging. Folks say it's "good to know... To plan!" But, maybe you just can't "plan" for some things. So you've been told that your unborn child has Down syndrome?

Q -- Will you sleep soundly for the next 5 months wondering about the future?
A -- I highly doubt it. I barely slept well just because I was pregnant... never mind any "bad" news I received from the medical community. And, this is a time when I -- and the babies -- desperately needed rest!

Q -- Can you pre-book the heart surgeon?
A -- In utero problems have a way of resolving themselves prior to birth. And, if they don't, all necessary medical personnel are on hand... You're in a hospital! My boys were born without any heart defects.

Q -- Is it necessary to contact the state's special services folks in advance to get the ball rolling?
A -- No need, they contacted me within a week of my children's births based on the hospital's notification. And, Early Intervention began almost immediately upon their arrival home at -4 days old.

Q -- Do you put them on the waiting list for the best local special needs school/camp etc.?
- We learned we had to wait and see what level (if any) impairment there might be and then decide. My sons are cognitively intact. As such, we've chosen to go the inclusion/mainstream route to facilitate their development.

Q -- Should you terminate the pregnancy because the MDs tell you the child's quality of life will suffer due to the DS-related defects?
- What if they were wrong and I terminated two healthy, amazing little individuals? We had a number of incorrect, in-utero diagnoses (DS was not one of them), each outcome worse than the next. It turned out that my boys are fine... developing on the low-end of the "normal" curve... with Down syndrome.

Q -- Do you anticipate and/or plan for the worst or do you hope for the best?

A -- Had I tested and been told they had Down syndrome -- along with all the other misleading and flat-out-wrong in-utero diagnoses they predicted -- I would not have known all these healthy things about my boys. Had I been told this information during this most-stressful time of my life, I might have been swayed to terminate based on incomplete and/or erroneous information. And, these two beautiful children who are now brightening the life paths of so many others would not be making their way through their own lives with great success and fanfare. They would never have graced this earth and made it a more beautiful place.

* Note: This is not about pro-life versus pro-choice. This is about the value, specifically, of in-utero diagnoses of Down syndrome.

So Low Tech -- Me!

Sorry for missing yesterday and, apparently, today. I've been experimenting with scheduling posts and, obviously, I haven't worked out the kinks yet. That's just a nice way of admitting that I don't know what I'm doing, here. But, if you don't see my new post technically tomorrow at 12:01 this AM (because I can't figure out how to get it posted tonight), then I'll have to quickly perfect my copy/paste capabilities which I also have not been able to get working in blog-mode.

I'm not even going to tell you what it is I did for a living before I became a stay-at-home-mom to my 3 beautiful children (2 of which happen to have Down syndrome). Suffice it to say that I SHOULD be able to figure out all this "simple" computer stuff and my colleagues would be on the floor laughing at my folly.

I guess it's good to be able to laugh at yourself! So, this is me laughing all the way to bed! And, tomorrow, hopefully, I'll be able to say I learned something new (how to schedule a post)... if I'm lucky!

Better Late Than Never

This is yesterday's blog. Yes, I know it's late. But, better late than never, I always say. As a matter of fact, sweating over whether or not I'd get to blog yesterday in honor of Down Syndrome Awareness Month, gave me my topic...

Children with Down syndrome almost always end up able to do most of the things that typically developing children achieve.... They just do it on their own timetable! It may take a little longer but, invariably, it does happen. They'll walk. They'll talk. They'll run and ride a bike... like most kids. They'll go to school and, yes, even graduate. And, many will go on to college. That's right they attend college, earn degrees and get paying jobs!... Just like typically developing kids! It might take a little longer but it can and does happen with patience and support (just like with some typically developing kids - LOL).

The developmental timetable for children with Down syndrome may mirror the typical timetable in some areas or may extend a bit further into their young adulthood in others. But, those of us with children with Down syndrome should take heart... because All Good Things Come to Those Who Wait and the Reward is GREAT!