Dark But Funny Thoughts

Here's a little glimpse of my [and my family member's] dark sense of humor:

Yesterday evening I got a telephone call from my sister. She jumped right into her stream of thought and said, "We're going to make funeral arrangements for Dad on Tuesday night around 6-ish. Is that convenient for you?"

[Pause]

"Ahhh, no, I'm busy Tuesday. Could we make it next week?"

LOL! How could I answer such a question so callously??? You've gotta know where the question is coming from!

No, Dad didn't die! He is quite alive and continues to wreak his own variety of havoc on our lives with his memory and health issues (typed with the utmost love in my heart, truly!). It's just that we were advised by our elder care attorney to spend down -- in legal ways -- Dad's savings before the state spends it for him. One of the lawful expenses we're permitted to incur on Dad's behalf is a pre-paid funeral, burial and service. But, to do so effectively, you sort of need to understand your elderly loved one's wishes. When he was a slightly younger man, as one of the oldest High School football officials in his association, he used to say, "if I drop dead on the field, just dig a hole in the end zone and roll me in." But, Dad updated that thought when he stopped refereeing. Now he says, "I don't care what you do with me once I'm dead. Just don't waste any money on me. Throw me at the curb for the garbage men to pick up!"

So within the realm of what's possible -- and what's legal -- given his wishes, we're trying to make the appropriate arrangements ahead of time.

Tuesday or next week... I don't think the garbage men would take him. That might actually require a special pick-up. LOL